Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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