I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
