Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's blow job season.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
