We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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