dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
