You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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