I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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