When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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