There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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