I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
