she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
