I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
