Slut skills are useful in every country.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize