she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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