i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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