Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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