you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
