You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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