I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
