He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
