I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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