Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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