Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
