hotel room ftw
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
