I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
