it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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