Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize