Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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