question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
