I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Operation Purity has been aborted
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
