i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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