I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
