i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
