That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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