I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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