I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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