you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize