elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
