my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize