i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize