Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
