Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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