she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
