So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
