wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
