How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Let's get the cat blown out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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