he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Randomize
