No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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