I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
