Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
