WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
