Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
