whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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