I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
