I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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