I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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