If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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