Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
