I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
