Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
