I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
