super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
