I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize
