So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
