I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
