Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
