You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
