if you like me you must not know who I am
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
