do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
