i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
